Category Archives: Bollocks

#666

As many dear readers will know, I am president, founder, chief executive, member #0001 of long-running organisation “The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society”.  In this role, I am honoured to have as esteemed member number 666 Mr Dave Bennett from Wilton in Wiltshire.  Dave is a tub-thumping archaeologist collector of images of tall things.  He is also a very fine artist and cartoonist.  And when, from our many emailic conversations, he found out about another of my whimsical wastes of time “The Welsh Space Agency (W.A.S.A.) it seemed to strike something of a chord and he sent me the two artworks you see below – the second as a Christmas present.  Dave, or course, also kindly gave us page 36 in my award-winning* book T.P.A.F.B. (Key Stages 1-4).  For the second image, Dave valiantly approached his son Ben’s mate Griff’s mum for her version of the Welsh caption.  He also then condensed this with a version from Google translate and it is near enough for me to tell you that it says “Oh my God look!  Signs of civilisation”.  And with this one cartoon, Dave neatly captures two of my obsessions, Wales in Space and of course telegraph poles.  Due to it not fitting fully on my scanner, I’ve alas cut off his trademark “Benny” signature from the WASA image.  Thanks Dave, I am indebted to you.

*  Largest pile of unsold books stored in a pantry, 2017.

The face of capitalism

Was horrified to see that P&O have started to charge for life-jackets on the Larne ferry to Cairnryan.  In the panic to evacuate your sinking ship you are expected to fumble around for 20p in order to save your life.   Paupers go down along with the captain I suppose!

Evidence of multi-tasking in men…

Martin_airshow2016
Mister media mogul seen here during behind-the-scenes filming at Welshpool air show on Sunday.
1. Switching camera positions
2. Talking on the phone.
So what else?
3. Putting: one foot in front of the other in the style of walking
4. Digesting: a breakfast bowl of Happy Shopper muesli.
5. Thinking: “people know I hate using the phone so why do they keep bloody-well hassling me?”
6. Wishing: I’d gone for a wee when I had the chance.
(Thanks Brian Nicholas for the pic)

An electric blanket

Harbinger of a bleak mid-summer

This ageing electric blanket, still plugged in and waiting by my bed will decide *your* summer.  

That’s right.  I took it off the bed but left it on the floor as the weather holds mild.

Should I dare to put it away until next year, guarantee I will have to re-install it again come the weekend.  And the coldest, wettest summer-that-never-was awaits us all.  Do you see my dilemma?

Foresight with hindsight

To save mankind in the future the trouble of having to invent a time machine to come back and assassinate Donald Trump, why not just do for him now? Just saying. 
I’ve got a list, actually, if anyone’s up for it.

Doggy bags

Special thanks to the dog walkers of Meifod this morning. The joyful site of a dog turd swinging in a tree fair warms the heart on a feisty mid-winter morning. And as the low sun glinted off the primrose yellow bag, I was put in mind of fragrant forest walks and the promise of the year to come.

Oh doggy bag, what treasures lie within thee?

doggybag