Proof follows that I ever existed - at least until my subscription for this web-space runs out.

Project Lucozade

posted in: Films | 0

I considered entering my Lucozade bottle photos for the Turner Prize. In the end, just posted them on to my blog. However, that site is presently being treated for a bout of severe hacking so I’ve posted the video, at least, on here for your delectation.

The Mortimer Trail

posted in: Poetry | 0

SAM_3039smJust a perfect day
hard boiled egg, Tyrells crips
and then maybe
from our flask
we’ll drink tea.

Just a perfect day
herefordshire countryside
hay bales and skylark song
and then later
when it gets dark
we’ll drink beer.

With apologies to the late Lou Reed for nicking his meter

A few of my unfavourite words

posted in: Other stuff | 0

I thought it might help ease me through this dark winter if I exorcised some of the words that I despise.  In no particular order:

Awesome Over used and over here.
Heart But only when referring to my own ticky-pumping thing.  I can say British Heart Foundation or  Heart of the Matter without wincing.
Cuddle Oh, that word is just too awful.  Please, make it go away.
Tummy Like fingernails scraped down a black board.
Like I, like, kinda, so hate the way this word can be fitted, like, about six times in a sentence these days.
Movie It’s a film for fuck’s sake.  Or a fillum if you’re from the north east.
Comfy I confess to being uncomfortable about this one.
Nil But only when preceded by the word Wrexham.  A bore draw at best.
Panini It’s a singed and squashed ham butty you ponce.
Crimbo Unless taken to extremes as in Crimbo Dex for Christmas Decorations.
Baulk I always baulk at this one.  Then wretch.

That’ll do for starters…

The strangers of Pen y Bryn

posted in: Poetry | 0

Who are those people who stand and stare?
I see them, always from behind.
Never quite catch up to them.
When I get there, they’re gone.


Picknicking Penrhos Pigeons

posted in: Poetry | 0

We few pigeons of Penrhos are
waiting for picnickers to come from afar.
Cheesy riches, pork pies, sandwiches.
We like to poo on your car


Juliet Tango

posted in: Poetry | 0

A Tango…
Music & Lyrics : Tom Evans

Juliet Tango, the plane
She has two wings to her name
And if you fly her too slow
she’ll let you know.

Juliet Tango she flies
and you can see with your eyes
that when she takes to the skies
She’ll blow your mind.


Flying, with grace and style
She’ll take you miles
   and miles away.


Juliet Tango is fab
she has two seats in her cab
but room for one in her heart
his name is Mart (in).

And now an alternate verse provided by me here…

Juliet Tango the plane
she had an intact tailplane
but if you fly her too low (slow, and in a bloody crosswind)
to the scrapyard she will go.


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