I considered entering my Lucozade bottle photos for the Turner Prize. In the end, just posted them on to my B5015.com blog. However, that site is presently being treated for a bout of severe hacking so I’ve posted the video, at least, on here for your delectation.
I thought it might help ease me through this dark winter if I exorcised some of the words that I despise. In no particular order:
|Awesome||Over used and over here.|
|Heart||But only when referring to my own ticky-pumping thing. I can say British Heart Foundation or Heart of the Matter without wincing.|
|Cuddle||Oh, that word is just too awful. Please, make it go away.|
|Tummy||Like fingernails scraped down a black board.|
|Like||I, like, kinda, so hate the way this word can be fitted, like, about six times in a sentence these days.|
|Movie||It’s a film for fuck’s sake. Or a fillum if you’re from the north east.|
|Comfy||I confess to being uncomfortable about this one.|
|Nil||But only when preceded by the word Wrexham. A bore draw at best.|
|Panini||It’s a singed and squashed ham butty you ponce.|
|Crimbo||Unless taken to extremes as in Crimbo Dex for Christmas Decorations.|
|Baulk||I always baulk at this one. Then wretch.|
That’ll do for starters…
Juliet Tango, the plane
She has two wings to her name
And if you fly her too slow
she’ll let you know.
Juliet Tango she flies
and you can see with your eyes
that when she takes to the skies
She’ll blow your mind.
Flying, with grace and style
She’ll take you miles
and miles away.
Juliet Tango is fab
she has two seats in her cab
but room for one in her heart
his name is Mart (in).
And now an alternate verse provided by me here…
Juliet Tango the plane
she had an intact tailplane
but if you fly her too low (slow, and in a bloody crosswind)
to the scrapyard she will go.