I got a new Amstrad telescope last Christmas. It’s brilliant! Opens up your eyes to a whole universe you never knew existed. Here’s a photo of Jupiter I took with it from our back-garden. This photo taken shortly after periapsis shows in breathtaking close-up the intense weather systems that form swirling coloured bands high in the atmosphere of this gas giant planet. Just rotated into view slightly beneath the equatorial belt you can see the fabled Great Red Spot which shows at about 22° S latitude.
The second image is of the frigid Jovian ice moon, Europa, with Jupiter in the background. Hard to imagine that under all that ice may lurk the nearest extra-terrestial life.
I heard today that life expectancy, by the time I get there is likely to be :
87½ years for women
85 years for men.
I have therefore booked in for gender-reassignment on 20th November 2045 – two weeks prior to my 85th birthday. Get in! Two and a half more years to admire my new tits.
December 1960 and star cruiser ‘Deliverance’ manoeuvres into earth orbit.
“Remember! Lead them not into temptation, deliver everyone from evil, no trespassing, and plenty of bread.”
“And no wine trickery. We wouldn’t need second comings if you lot did the job properly first time,” the captain gestured at Messiah 109’s scarred palms. “You won’t be called Jesus this time either, that’s asking for trouble.”
The captain pushed the ‘DESCENSION’ button and Messiah dematerialised. At that exact moment in the back of an Austin A40 somewhere in Wales, a surprise child was born unto Keith and Olwen Evans; the baby Martin.
For a couple of days this spring, the hormones in our resident tit
population boiled over somewhat. They became rather jealous of the
handsome but aggressive love rival they met in the wing mirrors of our
Strange goings-on in darkest Mid Wales. Make of it what you will