9 Jan 2024

The Litterator

posted in: art, Films, Recycling, Wales |

There are those who say we should get a television if only to stop us making this kind of film. 17 mins of soothing dullness for your impassive delectation:

A retired telegraph pole alignment officer, with a world view all of his own, takes up litter-picking at the behest of his wife Brenda. Steven Spielberg, I think it was, said that a film is never finished, it’s just abandoned. That is the case with this one. If you watch it direct on YouTube please click LIKE button even if you hate it. Zero budget filmmaking needs all the help it can get.

18 Sep 2023

Kaun Film Festival

posted in: Films |

Something super in today’s post. Turns out my film “Nuisance” won “Funniest Film” at the Kaun Film Festival in Haskovo, Bulgaria. That 60 second short just keeps on giving: Glass trophy, certificate, tee-shirt, souvenirs and an undisclosed cash prize. Thank you Dimitar Atanasov. #kaunfest https://www.facebook.com/KaunFest

10 May 2023

BIAFF 2023

posted in: art, Films, music |

The British International Amateur Film Festival. Well I was part of it this year. As indeed last year. First of all I produced the 40 page brochure – see below. And the poster. But then I also got to be a volunteer at said 3 day event. This festival is the flagship event of the IAC – Institute of Amateur Cinematographers. I even had a tee-shirt which said “Volunteer” on the back to prove it. Mine was arguably the most important role in the whole event. For it was me who pushed the “play” button to start each screening. Not only that, but I had to remember push the “pause” button too at the end of each film. So if it wasn’t for me…

  • Cover of BIAFF 2023 Brochure
  • The Sound and lighting gantry at the smaller of the two theatres
  • The gantry at the Ron Barber Studio
  • The Facade of the Crescent Theatre Birmingham
  • Me and Keri selfie in the mirror of our hotel showing off our volunteer shirts
  • Keri helping a visitor to the festival
  • Some of the awards on display at BIAFF
  • Poster for BIAFF 2023
  • Central Birmingham scenery - a pub by a canal.
  • The Daily Mail trophy
  • Birmingham canal basin
10 Nov 2022

FVM Magazine #2

posted in: art, Films, Writing |

My second issue of FVM magazine landed on subscribers’ doormats this very morning. Mine as in editor, design, layout, typesetter and contributor.

A scoop here too as this issue features the finest cover photo of any magazine anywhere in the world at any time. Superman Harry Nicholls in a still from Kim Hopkins’ film “A Bunch of Amateurs” – a documentary about filmmaking in Bradford. It’s currently doing the film festivals – wherein it has been widely praised – and will soon be on general release.

If you’re from Bradford, you’ll want to see this.
If you’re into film-making, you’ll want to see this.
If you love quirky, slice-of-British-life documentaries, you’ll want to see this.
Trailer here: https://youtu.be/UAs1FOp4Kp4

Front cover of December 2022 issue of Film & Video Maker Magazine. Picture shows glum and rotund elderly gentleman in a superman outfit with a mug of tea.
1 Oct 2022

Ffilmic success

posted in: art, Films |

My 60 second short “Nuisance” had an Honourable Mention at London Worldwide Comedy Short film festival.
Film Poem “What Happens When You Die” selected, and then a finalist at Wales International FIlm Festival
“Bite Off” – Nominated for “Best Mockumentary” & “Best Actor” at The Funny Life Film Festival – screening at TT Cinema, Shoreditch Sat 22nd Oct.

They’re all on YouTube:

5 Jul 2022

Ask a busy man

posted in: art, Films, Writing |

I wasn’t particularly looking for a job. No, I definitely wasn’t looking for a job at all. This one came looking for me. I am the new editor of FVM magazine w.e.f. pretty much immediately. I’ll also be doing the typesetting and magazine layout. Oh and writing a few articles too. Testing out nom-de-plumes as we speak.

by Stoddart E. Schmelmhausen.

The masthead of Film & Video Maker magazine
24 May 2022

Best Comedy Short

posted in: Films |

Just won one of these for my film “Bite Off”. It’s here if you haven’t seen it: https://youtu.be/OhETf4fMwYY And if you’d just be so kind as to click the “Like” thingy on youtube. Even if you hate the damn thing. For every like I promise to swear and cuss in the direction of Nigel Farage. For every 10 likes I will tweet something unpleasant at him.

Laurel leaves award for Best Comedy Short at Big Fridge International Film Festival
18 Apr 2022

BIAFF 2022

posted in: art, Films |

I may not have a film showing at BIAFF 2022, but I did produce the brochure. Click the image for the online flip version.

The cover of the BIAFF brochure 2022
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