Jane, you’re beginning to worry me. Two letters this week makes it five since August*1. I think you’ve become rather fixated that we don’t have a television, don’t watch or record anything as it’s being broadcast and don’t use the BBC’s IPlayer service – excellent though I believe it to be.
Whilst I was at first thrilled to receive your lipstick-red letter this week, my smile faded to disappointment at your threatening tone.
Look, I don’t have to have a television and I don’t have to tell you that I don’t. Just like I don’t need to tell the police that I’m not a car thief and haven’t done any shoplifting lately.
So, either do your bloody investigation, like you’ve been threatening for at least a decade, or do the planet a favour and stop wasting paper.
Yours, with love
Martin
*1 and about 400 in the last 10 years.
