TPAS Calendars
By popular demand: Telegraph Pole Appreciator’s Calendar for 2023. 28 pages, 365 dates, 12 months, er. 52 weeks, four seasons. Lots of wonderful telegraphular landscapes to admire as you count down to armageddon. Pre order available now £9.99 + p&p. Haven’t got around to adding the international postage yet. It’s late.
We’ll be posting them out as soon as they come in from the printers (around 11th/12th Nov)
Born to be Mild
Just back from special invite to the Dull Men’s Club Symposium in Llangollen at the weekend and the presentation of “Anorak of the Year Award”. I didn’t win this time but spent some grey time in the company of some of this country’s finest dullsters including Assistant Vice President* of the Dull Men’s Club, Leland Carlson (aka Grover Click, President of Park Bench Appreciation Society). Much serene jollity was had by all. Winner of the Anorak award was Rachel Williamson from Rhyl for her nocturnal, surreptitious yarn-bombing efforts.
* Assistant VP is the highest office in DMC to limit excitement.
Jacob Rees Mogg
I won’t hear a word against Jacob Rees Mogg – we think he does a great job.
Renovation Progress
Today (and yesterday) i have mostly been sanding 500 year old beams.
Lewis Chessman
Look what my dear clever wife Keri made… A Lewis Chessman (Warder/Rook) out of portland stone. With thanks to Lottie O’Leary of Knucklas for her guidance.
Ffilmic success
My 60 second short “Nuisance” had an Honourable Mention at London Worldwide Comedy Short film festival.
Film Poem “What Happens When You Die” selected, and then a finalist at Wales International FIlm Festival
“Bite Off” – Nominated for “Best Mockumentary” & “Best Actor” at The Funny Life Film Festival – screening at TT Cinema, Shoreditch Sat 22nd Oct.
They’re all on YouTube:
Magic Carpet Ride
A magic carpet ride around the coast of Pembrokeshire in yesterday’s sunshine and quiet air with Hâf and a map. With a land-away at Haverfordwest.
Introducing the Generic-card-o-gram
Never NOT have the appropriate card ever again – Introducing the all new Generic-greeting-card-o-gram from The Telegraph Pole Appreciation Society. The greeting card equivalent of cheap flowers from the all-night garage. Watch his/her face light up as you tick the box that says “Valentines” etc. etc.
148 x 148mm, printed on 350gms recycled card. incl envelope and serving suggestions on the back.
Available exclusively from: https://www.telegraphpoleappreciationsociety.org/product/generic-card-o-gram/
Ask a busy man
I wasn’t particularly looking for a job. No, I definitely wasn’t looking for a job at all. This one came looking for me. I am the new editor of FVM magazine w.e.f. pretty much immediately. I’ll also be doing the typesetting and magazine layout. Oh and writing a few articles too. Testing out nom-de-plumes as we speak.
by Stoddart E. Schmelmhausen.
Best Comedy Short
Just won one of these for my film “Bite Off”. It’s here if you haven’t seen it: https://youtu.be/OhETf4fMwYY And if you’d just be so kind as to click the “Like” thingy on youtube. Even if you hate the damn thing. For every like I promise to swear and cuss in the direction of Nigel Farage. For every 10 likes I will tweet something unpleasant at him.
